Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
