I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
