i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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