I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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