She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
