then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
this will be a night to untag.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
