do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
