I can tuck mytits in my pants
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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