we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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