Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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