Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
