I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
