So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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