I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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