i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
