So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
