I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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