Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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