i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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