I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
