you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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