Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
