So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
