Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
