Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
