Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
