Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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