Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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