i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
