Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
