Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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