Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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