But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sext me about skeletons
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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