Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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