Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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