she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
