Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
