I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
