fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
