fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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