Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
