its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
