Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
420 ftw
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
