Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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