i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so let's talk penis.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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