He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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