Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
