What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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