Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
