I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
