I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
